ah sais tae you

music:oceans-the format
mood:satisfied

10/5:,
we had vetting for rapture. i hope this year is a good year. go alumni! haha. and i so cannot hiphop. my defence: i'm chinese. i don't think H-I-P-H-O-P is written into our chinese DNA. pity. anywhoo. met yixiang and peihui for harold and kumar at freaking tampines. it was only after an hour plus bus ride home at midnight that i realised exactly how far tampines is from home. and even after the bus ride, i ended up at toa payoh, not HOME. but anyway. haha i love the racist bits in the movie--about the jews and afghan terrorists. and i visited shijie at work! missed her muchos (: ly f sq!

11/5:
Mother's day! i baked apple pie for my mommy. yeah believe it. lynette's finally domesticated. oh but i screwed up the lattice-weaving-pie-crust-shit. it was simply to complicated for me. and omfg i peeled,cored and sliced EIGHT apples. all eight of them and ended up with a few nicks. but i think my mommy liked it.

12/5:
PAYDAY. and BFF sorta surprised me by being in the area and available for lunch. haha telepathy much? subway and chocolate chip+double chocolate chip cookies. too cool. and haha she's so cute and random. OH. and OMG. at work there's was this mofo rude caller. NO ONE has ever so condescendingly called me lousy before. i wanted to just bitch slap that smirk (i imagine) off that smug pug-like face (again, i think this is what he looks like, it's only befitting). yeah. i guess it can be said that i tend to hold grudges. at least for as long as i can remember them.

13/5:
i've been reading 'trainspotting' by irvine welsh and it's taken me a week plus to get past the halfway mark. the scottish collequial is just so hard to decipher, but i'm slowly plowing through. it helps sometimes to read it out loud, but most times i end up in giggles at how ridiculous i sound, how decidedly un-scottish. lessons learnt: 1)fitba is football and 2)addiction is dangerous

for a chance to dance with stars

recap

music:always love-nada surf
mood:bloated

stuff happened, but i can't really remember what exactly. but i'm pretty sure something must have taken up my 24hours, every day.

well, wednesday was school. i really miss school :(( it feels so familiar and safe. me and shijie were there first so we took some pictures and came up with 3 eights worth of steps. haha we're so cool right, my funny friend! total geniuses really. and omg getting out of school was an adventure in itself. suffice to say, jun ended up being the only one WITHOUT disgustingly muddy feet. anyhow, shijie, jun, manda and me walked around PS and ate a lot of yummies! hahah.

and then thursday was dance with keisha and shijie. shijie baked me timtam cheesecake, upon my special request! AWW I LOVE YOU FRIEND. warm ups were tough as usual. and pathetic little me is still aching from it! :/

PAYDAY happened on friday! then after work met melmel for dinner. we wanted sushi but the queue was a mile long. thanks to SOME PEOPLE. haha. so we ended up at fish&co. we should seriously add hiphop artistes to our already impressive resume. we're just so talented at spitting out verses.

others:
-i got good news on one of the days in this week. i really hope things start to look up.
-is there a point in life where you realize your parents aren't the people you thought they were while growing up? somehow at a single moment, you suddenly see them flawed, and not entirely invincible. and recognise a lot of them in you.
-i may have deleted friendster. haha. got bored of it.
-i don't know if its the mood swing talking, but i've been pretty irascible these past few days. and i don't like being a grouch, but i can't seem to help it!
-just stay away? pretty please.
-someone sent me a virus :((((( and it took awhile to figure out what to do, being IT-stupid and all.
-I HAVE JUST FINISHED READING SURVIVOR by Chuck Palahniuk. i really, really like him. It's about this alledged sole survivor of a suicide cult recounting his life as he is plunging towards the ground in an airplane with its engines gone. You trace how from an obedient servant he later becomes a media whore. yeah.believe it. my favourite line :-

'Because the only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the
amount of press coverage.'

Fall in love with his sharp social satire now.

raindropdead

music:she moves in her own way-the kooks
mood:tired

i love this song. haha the singer's accent is so cute. though i have no clue what he's singing about half the time.

it's not about your make-up
or how you try to shape up
to these tiresome paper dreams
paper dreams, honey

work's fun. i saw cute IT guy today. but damnit, my comp was in working order. still, maybe tomorrow...HAHA. but i'm so very stressed, especially when the calls start coming one after another, especially when my multi-tasking skills are at a near zero, especially...

joined kris at smu for dance yesterday and OMG. i was barely alive after WARM-freaking-UPS. like, pathetic much? and there was still 2 hours of tech and choreo to get through. but i survived, amazingly so. although, i'm aching pretty much all over.

and yeah that's all. i think.

i hate the rain. you can say it's soothing or whatever, but all i know is it gets into my shoes and skin. and then i'm cold inside out.

ular-lah!

music:prophecy-remy zero
mood:sleepy


monday
wild wild wet with mel!

haha like,finally. i love the u-slide thingy, real fun. haha and i dared mel not to scream on the way down, and her constipated face was all i could see while "free falling" down the slope. she's so cute. but omg the ah bengs were sooo annoying in between their attempts to capsize me and splash us with water. like wth?! and the lifeguards too! big bullies. but yeah we finally got our tan! sorta...sentosa soon okay! OH then after the million stairs and ass heavy floats we climbed and carried, i went for lyrical jazz class. almost died. didn't help that it was hard! but it's okay. we'll show him next week what we're made of! yeah!

tuesday
lazed around, went post chinese new year shopping with the mother before meeting the keewei after. she's really strange. but yeah thanks for the pressie. and the scarf's cool okay. you just don't know how to properly appreciate it. pfft

today
dance at school. and PEOPLE were late for breakfast. tsk. anyway, dinner later with family (: okay bye.

blah

music:runaway-mae
mood:content

uh. momentary mental block.

oh. had dinner with some of the dancers on friday night which was fun and then shijie and jun slept over not before some DRAMAZ yeah capitalized for effect haha we didn't end up doing what we were supposed to do but we watched 'the search for the next pussy cat doll' and stalked people on friendster and omgggggg i've found eye candy heh and seriously contemplated signing up on friendster so that i could just add him but pity we couldn't find jun/jean's cute guy yeah and thank you shijie's mommy for the pineapple tarts yeah then went to malaysia over the weekend which was pretty fun thanks to food and dvds--'the office' and 'heroes' before coming back today for hiphop just now haha me mau and manda formed an alliance--those who suck at hiphop but yeah fun stuff the dancers are going to the night safari next thursday yay haven't been there in eons so can't wait but before that i'll be going back to malaysia tomorrow which is pretty odd but it's all thanks to my mom's grand chinese new year plan.

wow longest sentence EVER. and shijie's still holding my eeyore captive! SAVE THE EEYORE. hahahhaa.

anyway, i've been thinking. i should just stop thinking. everything's much easier that way.

AND I'M SUPER ENVIOUS OF PEOPLE/DANCERS WITH MORE TALENT IN THEIR PINKY THEN ALL OF ME COMBINED. sigh

work fricking sucks.

music:feeling this-blink 182
mood:tired

HAHA. how ironic. im feeling OLD now, with itunes playing 'feeling this'. i never thought it would suck to hit 18, or even-dare i say it-19 this year. things that make me feel old:

1) work.
shit, the adults weren't kidding when they said work is helluva worse than school. if it weren't for the money...i keep chanting in my head:paydaypaydaypayday. bleh. and srsly. aunties and ah mas need to learn to have a little respect for us poor promoters here! it's really a humbling job. note: you don't have to completely ignore us. but thanks to clement, leilei and peewee for visiting me and buying a box or two of hairdye!
2)dance.
jazz class today with manda,shijie,mau,vk,keisha. it was pretty good but it appears that i'm so totally out of shape! my arms are trembling from today's class and it's a pretty safe bet i'll be aching tomorrow!

anyway. other stuff happened--
2jan:met up with the BFF kisha after job training to catch up, watch i am legend and exhange belated xmas gifts. oh yeah and our little book club. it's so funny how we both cringed and cried at the same moments (:
3-6jan: work ))))))))): but! breakfasts with mel and on sunday with baowu/keewei made the days start off great!
today: spring cleaning in my room. at the end of it (it took me a grand total of 3.5hours) i had 5 trash bags to show for my efforts. it's scary how much can accumulate in 4 years--cobwebs, junk, memories.

music:tie a rope-the format
mood:accomplished (finished my geepoo essay!)

SATURDAY
went rollerblading on saturday afternoon with the usual people (cough keisha) -manda, mau, shijie. it was fun but kinda tiring. our lack of stamina showed rather pitifully. AND. shijie got sunburnt while nothing happened to me. &($*&! when i'm just as white as she is! manda and i dyed our hair a passion mahogony that doesn't show up at all, with mau and shijie as our professional hair peoples (yeah stylists i know). then went for the NUS dance reflections. 'despise me if you dare', but i thought the swan park item was really cute! yes they were reminiscent of something else...but its quirky and fun on its own. needless to say, zaki and zaini's items were pretty much the stand out items--opening and finale.

TODAY
haha. i had the weirdest dream last night. maybe its my preoccupation with getting tanned skin, but i dreamt i was badly sunburnt. damn. for a split second i was seriously delirious with joy. or something. then i magically morphed into darth vader confessing all my sins to a moss-covered wall. i don't know about you, but i'm all admiration for my brain.

-erps. i think i'm a really bad person. don't trust me :/

also, i really need to start making decisions for myself. i say we start with deciding what to eat for the next meal. baby steps.

so you run away for no apparent reason
cause you and i are changing with the seasons
i might have a little obsession with the format, all over again.

music:shortly before the end-ok go
mood:exhausted

omg. im soo super exhausted, drained, dead. we had a full dress rehearsal today that didn't go down too well! :/ oh no. at least the second run saw an improvement! the quick changes were kinda nerve-wrecking, i swear i could feel adrenaline coursing through me as i tried to make it within the 5 mins. i really need to figure out how to feel! ugh. 6 more days! holy crapola.

after dance though, manda xinEEE! and me went down to chinatown to get sequins and ribbons. haha but we kinda ended up customizing prettiful necklaces in this really cool shop full of little (and some BUGE) gold and silver trinkets. it is definitely not for indecisive person! ahem manda.
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TRUE FRIEND!
love you muchos <3

okay. now the dreaded SGC awaits me. bleh. as hard as it is to believe, i find it extremely difficult to package and market myself. i am so not a whore. heh. stupidstupidstupid. oh and i've got some serious hardcore sewing to do for cindy's costume! i can't believe i got an A for home ec before. the teacher was definitely blind to the horrible stitching.

music:anything is possible-this providence
mood:dead beat

holy shit. im sooo tired i can barely think. so point form's handy:
-tuesday signalled the end of bt2. finally, it was getting annoying.

-wednesday called for dance, and then some at mambo night. but not before transformers with keish,manda,mok and hannah. 10mins into the show,the skeptic in me became a total fan. then we trooped down to zouk where we met half of singapore. so much for memorising all those numbers! 15345,678267. haha. mambo was hilarious.

-stayed over at manda's and had subway breakfast before dance. YUM. i eat subway! and then met cindy after for veekay's birthday. HAHAH. it was kinda awkward initially considering we were kinda overdressed. oh wells. cindy would've won 'best dressed' for sure.

-dance again, before college day on friday.then rushed home, showered,changed and went down to orchard in a record time of 45mins. woah. had dinner with melissa and then met up with gabriel for drinks. i was kinda lost when they started on unis in america. which makes me wish i again that i could leave singapore. its only in bed that i realise alcohol and coffee isn't good for an early morning.

-had dance AGAIN today. 8-5 which makes up to a total of 9 hours. or something. i hate math. and i was pretty much dead beat. and still am. brought my lovely rotund brother out for dinner despite the urge to become a rip van winkle and not wake for another 100years. had kimchi soup which was YUM. andddddd i got a really good book--'the time traveller's wife'. it says on the blurb

'...an old-fashioned love story' and

'an elegy to love and loss'.

kinda easy to see how easily i was sold.
i wanna just read love and happyness.

--edit--
so much for point form.

blah.

music:brighter than sunshine-aqualung
mood:sleepy

EEE. i love this song. it's impossibly sweet.

let the rain fall i don't care
i'm yours and suddenly you're mine
love was brighter than sunshine

oh, i changed the layout! i think the new one's pretti-ful (: call me fickle or whatever, but the previous layout had to go. the pink flowery details were getting old. pooey. short update--

tjc reverie3 and we were guest performers. i thought we were pretty blah, but apparently we were pretty neat. so yay for us i guess. i thought tj's video was really cool especially when set to 'listen' by beyonce. i didn't study much unfortunately, but i've a new nickname for jun and i! LB1 and 2. haha.

slept over at cin's after it ended. scrubbed hard at my face and scalp to remove all the glitter and gel. yuck. slept without a pillow, but with a full stomach. heh. woke up early for a mac's breakfast. yum.

didn't have tuition today! hoho. buttttt i really need to get a move on with the homework and studying :/ ehh. maybe tomorrow. VETTING TOMORROW! holy geez.

anywhoo, this is a bit belated, but : sometimes i'm amazed at how similar we mother and daughter are. not just in temperament but also the relationships we have. maybe i should have told her this on mother's day.

earthquake on her mind

music:pretty handsome awkward-the used
mood:distracted

you look pretty low,
very handsome awkwarddddddddddddd

ive got a billion and one things running through my head at a mile per second. and we know lynette isn't really capable of such complexity. anywhoo. ticking things off:
-syfers! (: im glad the tears weren't for nothing!
-family dinners are never complete without bad karaoke family singers and public humiliation on the 'dancefloor' : OOH and my baby nephew is the cutest thing ever. i'm still amazed that that itsy one year old can say apple,blue,ball!
-rapture is too soon! we've in total approx 10hours worth of practice for each item before they go on stage. not good. im worried :(
-on the otherhand, me and xin finished the blocking complete with necessary sequentials today! looking good (:
-manda true friend! rest loads okay, take care. and things WILL work themselves out. they always do.
-BT2 in about 4 weeks! and not a single schedule or note in sight :/
-i absolutely cannot wait for the weekend, then holidays.

im so sleepy. but my brain is still buzzing.

scattered÷d

music:wherever you will go-the calling
mood:distracted

been really busy doing things other than what i should be doing. no good at all. i'm struck with the urgency (think BT2, rapture) but can't really shake off the complacency and overall laziness. bleh. i'm sooo disgusted with myself! and yet here i am, blogging and singing out of tune instead of writing my lit essay. pooey.

so dance yesterday. was actually looking forward to learning choreography for rapture, but zaki hit us with a surprise vetting session and xinyi wasn't there with me! :/ and there's gonna be another next week! haha how many more eights do we have left? A LOT.

hahaha. i was this close to getting a real pet this week ( i think it happened during this week, but i'm not so sure, my days just seem to meld together). and by real pet i mean bigger than a terrapin (a faux turtle in my opinion) or a fat balding hamster. but it's okay! i am getting me a puppy one day! although i'm not sure my irresponsibility counts for anything.

and then blahblahblah other things happened to other people. and i'm glad i just have school and dance to contend with. you know, i'm not too good with multi-tasking. maybe i was supposed to be a boy.

pooey

music:my lack of skill-the early november
mood:exhausted

haven't updated in a while.
sat:dance and then malaysia, without a car! thank goodness my cousin was with me otherwise i could very easily have been a)lost
b)raped
no kidding. aunt's birthday went alright, usual karaoke and crazy dancing and good food. too much good food. too much karaoke and bad singers in the family.

wed:dance wasn't so good. the seniors came down and we possibly gave them a heartattack. (what a coincidence-as i type this, the SYF music plays on itunes) SYF is too soon :/ not good. my nails have been reduced to yucky stubs because of this and homework that conveniently piles up. bleh.

thurs:KEEWEI (baowu!) SAVED MY LIFE.

fri:project work results &then dance. it was kinda cool, maurine and i played around with the cc lights! no wonder stage lightning is a specialised course offered, no easy shit yo'.

and then i'm shit tired.

side note-i love/hate the SYF song. i hate how it screams "emote! emote!" and i just can't, but i love how it's so rich :/

NERDFACE! :/

music:dead end-the format
mood:schweepy (sleepy)

hold on there's a hole in my heart
everyone can see right through me
it goes all the way to the waves
where my love she tried to wash it away
I'm looking for a dead end song
we sit and find flaws in everyone
I want to keep you by my side
holding off tidal waves

hahhahaha. this song is soo damn catchy and tooth-achingly sweet. kinda. anyways. yay for the LOOOONG weekend as the teachers have gleefully pointed out as they dish out more homework. pooey. so much for good friday and easter bunnies.

dance on wednesday was pretty good, in the sense that it was encouraging. 20 more days! holy crapola, but we're gonna pull through it definitely. 3 weeks to StotheYtotheF and 3 weeks to start of rapture preparations. it's almost never-ending, and that's just the way i like it.

i've got my hands on the 'wind-up bird chronicle'! can't wait to start reading although i do have the afore mentioned shit loads of homework and peeNpee (60 fricking chapters!) to finish.

picture perfect:

music:gravity-john mayer
mood:tired

alrights photos finally up from sat night, courtesy of clarahhhhh! cin and i met the others at jalan kayu for prata right after dance. it was kinda amusing, having to bathe in school and cin even brought her hair dryer?! weirdo. anywhoo. prata is pretty good, minus the oil, the heat, the smoke, the flies. haha. im serious. lots of laughs definitely!and then we lounged by kenneth's mulit-million dollar mansion's pool. you know, he has like 100 units all to himself! anywhoo, photos from that night:

me,mel,clarahhh,kenneth&cin. kenneth looking wayyy gay as usual.

me &cin. i hearts her muchos.

our random posse pose.

i hope you get ungrounded real soon clarahhhh!

then we can go out more! shopping?!

me and mellums. twinnies forever. haha. playing telephone with the paper thosai.

i swear i mean it when i say it was BUGE. totally worth my $3.50!

i love photos. they totally capture the essence of that particular moment.

dance today was pretty bad. rehearsal at UCC :/ oh wells. we can do hella lot in 3 weeks! jiayous.

it feels so weird to not have tutorials to rush through, but it feels nice :)

woops.fuck.

music:thnks fr th mmrs-fall out boy
mood:happy

LALALALALA
methinks the song is so damn catchy. too bad i'm missing FOB drama for my grandmother's birthday:/

holy. chemistry SPA today was sooo fucking shitbeans (ooh new word!) srsly. ugh. i swear i could feel my face drain of blood as the water drained out of the burette. which, was NOT meant to have happened. oh wells, at least i didn't BREAK something this time. yay for me.

& a yay for tomorrow too! i'll be missing lessons for moe's performance (haha talk about personification). seems like that's all i've been doing: missing. anywhooo. I LOVE DANCE. can't wait for tomorrow :)

what if i said that it didn't mean anything?

i'm going to hit a BLOCK.

music:penny on the train track-ben kweller
mood:sleepy

i realise i'm always sleepy, must be that i'm growing! :) and i would much rather sleep now than do my homework but it's okay, i've got a lovely BEEG mug of hot coffee+milo+milk. makes me all warm and sleepy.

i wait yeah,

i wait for something good,

for something great

if you can't get behind your own life

get behind the driving wheel

and go, just go

find a place that you don't know'

i'm just a penny on the train track

and i try, oh i try

i can't stop,

i don't know why

my dad gave me some career guidance/counselling in the short 15mins ride to school today. i was intially cynical and was pretty much prepared to roll my eyes at him, but it was pretty good. i know for sure now what i don't want to do. now to figure out what i do want :/

dance was pretty good today. we're almost done with SYF. well, we're getting there! whoopers. i probably don't say it enough, but i love the dancers! more than i love xiao long bao and zha jiang la mien. which is a lot :P

22 more days to block tests. OHEMGEE. 'twenty two' seems awfully short. i have a pretty clear idea of what i should be doing, but there are always too many distractions, too many excuses. pooey :(

HAHHA. i love the little old skool smileys. they're so cool. coolface!

stereoAtypical

music:chemistry of a car crash-shiny toy guns
mood:exhausted

when people complain about how selfish, self-absorbed youths are, they obviously haven't witnessed my bus ride today. seriously. what behaviour from a SENIOR CITIZEN nontheless. tsk:851 was exceptionally crowded &i was pushed up against the side of the exit, standing in front of this particular old lady.
NOTE:i made sure i didn't touch her &
NOTE: i made sure she had PLENTY of room.
first she kicks my heel then prods my hip, pushing me forward. all this for the apparent shortage of leg room. HELLO?! has she even looked around the bus? people pushed up against each other like sardines and her leaning against the glass with her legs outstretched. seriously, wtf. &you call US selfish? i don't think so.
that old lady can have the silk fan* shoved up her crabby,stinky ass.

*chinese dance peoples went to get fans+measurements for costumes today. cin,keish,kris,manda,veeks and I ate at this pretty good "house of briyani". i like rice.
and the silk fans are prettyyyy and pretty long. i can totally see me tripping over them.

&dance today was prettyyyy much tiring.

all filler, not killer.

music:bonus mosh,pt 2-taking back sunday
mood:full

well it's love
make it hurt
it's love,it's love,it's love
make it hurt

disclaimer1:i'm NOT in love. i just love the words &i'm gonna save them.

dance today was pretty fun. &i looked super funky in my new maroon flared dance pants. possibly the best &worst dressed. haha cin,veeks we ALL look absolutely FLASHY.

i love chaoshaoshaoroufan. betcha can't say it as fast as i can!

disclaimer2:this is a filler for a hopefully more meaningful post to come.

dancincompetence.

music:love hurts-incubus
mood:gleeful

candylove makes me go weak at the knees :)

and look at all the pretty colours!

know what else is absolute love? MIAMI INK. after watching this, you'll have a new-found respect for tattoo artists. they DON'T just trace/stencil shit, they actually ARE artists. with attitude and a sense of humour thrown in. discovery travel&living, 11pm, sunday nights. be there.

do you hide behind the dance, or does it reveal more than you want it to? they say dance is a form of expression but it could really swing both ways. it's only too easy to cower behind the all too beautiful smile, the performance.
it's just too bad that this is all i know.

keep living The Letdown.