Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at that time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie or a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electricity bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, the deeper sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.
-odd hours, dean koontz

wow. i want to love like that.

hippo!crite

music: melt my heart to stone-adele
mood: happy

hahahahhahahahah its been EONS since i last blogged. so i guess i kinda need to eat my words 'blogging is so passe'

im in love with this song! i think it'll be nice to curl up in bed with a good book and this song on repeat.

Right under my feet there's air
Made of bricks, pulls me down
Turns me weak
For you I find myself
Repeating like a broken tune

school's started and hall never stopped. but it's not so bad, yet. heh and i mighttttttt have already broken one of my new year's resolutions: to attend all lectures. ahhh screw.

BUT highlight of my week: met up with BFF ah ting on wednesday. we're now known as The 10-12 Brunch Clique in a bid to inject more 'fun' into our lives, or lack thereof. it was pretty funny how two borderline 20 yearolds just sat jaded in the middle of the arts canteen, completely envious of a 17 yearold boy/kid. we both agreed we need more spontaneity in our lives..and maybe a driving licence would help.

OMG I BOUGHT A PINK TSHIRT. WILLINGLY. shudders. okay, in my defense there weren't any other colour combi options left andddddddd it is a cute shirt. it has FREAK emblazoned across. heehee. cuteeeeeeee (:

sometimes. i feel not-quite-lost. does that even make sense? haha. like, i'm merely cruising through life without actually taking hold of the wheel. i've picked the easiest course, the one that has my future pretty much mapped out, all nice and neat for me. my modules are largely allocated to me, it's a direct honours programme, there are only so many career options..everything is so safe. safe is good, but i feel like i've placed my life under anti-depressants. haha maybe i should just go skydiving some day soon.

anyways. CHINESE NEW YEAR IS HERE. hahaha
chinese new year:
+pineapple tarts
+money
+no school
-annoying extended relatives that apparently i'm related to
so all in all, chinese new year=good times.

i still can't believe i'm blogging.