i guess it's stupid to say sorry when it's so late.

I Wrote This For You: The View From Our Kingdom

I Wrote This For You: The View From Our Kingdom

equations

from some time back, and then again, recently--

i can't explain it.

i can't explain it in linear graphs with calculated gradients and intercepts.

i can't explain it in flow charts and arrows.

i can't explain it in 'cause and effect' models and theorems.

i can't explain it--can't explain why i'm feeling the way i'm feeling now and why you've got me grey like the clouds overcast ahead.

why is the weather report sometimes inaccurate?

we pray for sunny weather and clear skies but are only met with gloomy showers when we step out. wet, wet, wet.

'we need umbrellas on the inside'

BIO1101

Lock & Key Hypothesis
Basically this is a model biologists used to explain how enzymes work to catalyze reactions and such. Picture a lock and it's key. It works on the basis of shape complementarity, it assumes that for every lock there is a specific key with a unique shape conformation that allows it to be inserted into the lock, turn it and hence locks/unlocks. Sexual connotations aside, we can draw parallels to love. Everyone talks about finding your soul mate, Hollywood churns out romantic comedies about searching for that one true love, that sole person you are made for. I guess it just makes it seem more reassuring to know that out there, is someone designed to be your perfect match, and yours only. Butttt it doesn't seem that all realistic.

Induced-fit Hypothesis
After they came up with the lock & key hypothesis, some other biologists proposed an alternative theory. They called it the induced-fit. So we get rid of the lock and key 100% match compatibility picture. Insteadddd what we have is sorta a molten down lock and key, meaning they still have a certain shape complementarity and they do fit with each other. Just that they don't give you the tight fit, that perfect click. The smart biologists theorized that after fitting together, the 2 molecules would then undergo slight changes to their respective shapes so as to fit more perfectly giving rise to the term : induced-fit. I think this sounds more realistic, perhaps even more achievable. Conflicts will inevitably arise, I don't think there can be 2 people with an exact 100% match in personality and character traits AND in love with each other. Maybe even then, circumstances around the 2 can shape problems. So we learn to compromise, to give and to take. It may not be equal but that's the beauty of the model. By altering ourselves in different aspects we accommodate, align, mould and shape to fit each other. Guess it can be seen as a tangible target to work towards.

But these are just hypotheses, theories.
Just trying to explain how 2 molecules or persons can collide
and spark.

frustrated with my camera!
it keeps schizo-ing out on me ):
blahblahblahblah
can't wait to be back in 2 days!

pretty pictures married with choice words.

i feel like i'm hard pressed for time and yet i can't make myself stay awake, much less sit down and concentrate on my revision. DIEEEE :/

birthday is soooon. heh. but somehow, we just don't look forward to birthdays as much anymore. guess it comes with the increase in the number of candles on the cake. but i want my disney princess cake, i want the animal balloons, i want the pastel streamers. i want to feel that child's birthday specialness back :( I WANT A SECOND CHILDHOOD! hahaha

pandora's box

it was probably better closed.

i need to stop thinking and maybeeee start studying.

days like this i feel less than mediocre.

i think i should try harder.

everytime i--

there's a gentle tug on my heart, a part which isn't mine anymore.

don't build your world around volcanoes, they melt you down

Don't hold yourself like that

You'll hurt your knees

I kissed your mouth and back

But that's all I need

Don't build your world around

Volcanoes melt you down

What I am to you is not real

What I am to you you do not need

What I am to you is not what you mean to me

You give me miles and miles of mountains

And I'll ask for the sea

Don't throw yourself like that

In front of me

I kissed your mouth your back

Is that all you need?

Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down

What I am to you is not real

What I am to you you do not need

What I am to you is not what you mean to me

You give me miles and miles of mountains

And I'll ask for

What I give to you

Is just what i'm going through

This is nothing new

No no just another phase of finding what I really need

Is what makes me bleed

And like a new disease

Lord, she's still too young to treat

Volcanoes melt me down

She's still too young

Volcanoes melt you down

But she's still too young

I kissed your mouth

You do not need me

grumpy now.

pissed at a lot of things.

pissed at a few people.

but mostly at myself!

growllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

i hate MAKING people COME watch ME.

i hate 8am lessons.

i hate LAB.

whinewhinewhine

bitchbitchbitch

tutorial's still undone.

phangkeewei is entertaining though!

rantvent

i dont understand you!

what's it called?
hoping against hope





hopefully now i can sleep.

stole this from somewhere, but thought they were really pretty words:-

“At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.”

and we were dreaming

music: existentialism on prom night-straylight run

mood: afternoon sleepy

one of my all-time favourite songs.

haha i can't even pick a paragraph of lyric to feature.

there are a billion things i coulddddd be doing now, but i'd rather watch friends. i'm moving through season 2! i majorly heart joey and phoebe (:

i'm eggcited for prague though. i think it's really ironic how i have to come up with a packing list for everyone, when i usually pack 4 hours before my flight's scheduled to take off. oh wellsssss.

blahblahblahblahblah

my nephew ian chew is simply the most adorable thing! i want one too, with deep dimples and that impish smile. haha as veeks said, just tell it to the baby machine.

OKAY BYE. nap time!

i guess what i can't get out is: i'm sorry too.

maybe, baby

i think i might have just realised i don't have more than 24hrs a day. 

i think i might have just realised i can't split myself into 2, or into anymore parts.

might.

i think i should learn to be okay with mediocre and ordinary.

i wonder what's grace

maybe it's being comfortable in your own skin

maybe it's being less, feeling less awkward

maybe it's just a name.

much ado about nothing/i'm doing nothing.

it's hot and stuffy, i'm bored waiting for people who may or may not appear, trying hard to make my green tea frapp last longer...so here's this:

i think it's the accumulation of fatigue and sorts that's made me more irritable than usual. this grouchiness has been in town for some time already actually. haha i want the blase old me back, hazed and unfazed. haha anywhoo.

received a really nice surprise in the mail yesterday. it was a postcard from nietz! hope you're having fun by the way. i promise promise and thrice promise we'll have a holiday together soon, maybe next summer kay. i'll say no to any holiday committments and be free to fly. i'll start by practising my 'No's now (:

as i was saying the other day to the parentals. i don't think i'll follow the fad and hold a themed 21st birthday party. or even have a party at all for that matter. haha i mean think about it, if you're the host, you're obliged to play the gracious hostess on YOUR beeeg birthday. You have to flit from group to group make sure everyone's fed, hydrated, entertained, included. ugh too tiring. we're already doing that on a day to day basis. SO MY 21st BIRTHDAY should be celebrated by friends FOR me. divalicious (: a surprise birthday party would be nice, time to start planning shit peoples! and btw, i still want a puppy. heh 5 months to go! time's a ticking.

andddddddddd i can't think of what else to say.

w(hee)ii

hahahahhaha i love my wii fit fitness instructor. she's simply the most encouraging virtual person i've ever known. literally. i'm on my way to being a yoga master! woo. albeit only in the virtual world...but never you mind. 'try to keep your balance within the yellow circle. you're doing a good job! you've got great posture.' WOOHOO teacher's pet, anyone?

omg fml.

enroute 30 musing

How can we place so much trust in the underground subway system, to send us to destinations and places, safely. How, despite newsflashes and headlines of plane crashes and wreckages we board, buckle our seatbelts and look forward to the inflight entertainment. How do i and yet not have faith in there being a some one who alledgedly promises so much more?

Is it about taking the gamble, opening my heart and mind, just taking the plunge, and 'what have i to lose'?